A Letter to God

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I haven’t seen the clouds sweeping through the ceiling for so long, a Venus in the making. What could be bright by glancing?

It might be the night of San Juan that fireworks gleamed for no one else. It was like an oath that solidified the world. That was it. The night we met. I’ve been convincing myself of the hallucination that I was experiencing but I couldn’t lie and wait for the Bécquer poem to become reality. I told myself what I was supposed to say.

The timidity was like no other. How could I possibly hold it down? Two got exiled from above attempting to be raised back to the land of blissfulness. I sat down to think, of a million possibilities that I could’ve mistaken about in my language, emotions, or actions, any discontentment for the ministry can ruin my task. I wish not to hold for longer. I stroked the wind and felt the lines of sharpness that you’ve brought. You know my mission. You were my mission. Why would you halt it? I wouldn’t bother asking anymore, when you showed me the brutality to overcome. I am a man of no fear.

To wait was to murder my chances, every opportunity that lays is to be grasped before my sentence is announced. Your priest has never called, but when he did that was the only time I could tell you how I feel. I looked into the crystal and saw the same, that you finally came to take me away, to a better place where I’d perpetually stay. The whispering wand has told the tale, that it was the moment to reach the peak. I heard the mountain calling…

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make peace

it’s been a thousand moons that shone

fifty stars that dropped around

the eight planets that orbit

scattering. the sun never collapsed

for a moment. and all the tales are

the useless bedtime stories

if you can talk yourself out then why

you are here

but you’re not. but pieces,

crumbs that crawl stiffly through

the sandcastle you built,

the waves. one wave was all

it takes to lay on your knees, yet another

furiously roaming towards the shore.

now tranquility hits, deadly, and

think, and another rising gulf, through the

corpse yet laying, bones yet clinging

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The mountain grew under my feet, when the clear lakes blinked in front of my eyes. A profound, sophisticated land of belonging. I held the angel in my arms, firmly, till the messenger affirms the response was for me. I embraced my periodical success. I felt the warmth of the current, surrounding. I was told to enjoy my euphoria, when He examines my deeds. Who would I be if I couldn’t protect His messenger? To return to the land of peace for joy itself and solely itself was never a hard ask, but I was too young to understand last time what it meant to treasure and to rescue. The soul was yet in the making, but to hold is to never let go, through roses – thorns and petals, His messenger would never be betrayed. It was the striking beam of light that told me it was not a dream.

I had an epiphany.

You are my world.

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